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I think that sometimes instead of teaching with the Spirit, people teach from their own experience. If this experience is narrow then only one voice is heard. Those who grow up with different experiences tend to feel judged and chastised instead of instructed on the principles being taught. While using personal experiences in a lesson helps to personalize the lesson, the lesson should be taught in a way that includes the vast diversity of the Church's members. Experiences are important in a discussion, but the importance of a lesson is to teach and instruct on how to grow as a member of the gospel.
There are ways that we might be able to achieve this. I find that reaching out to those who I know come from different experiences before a lesson can give me different perspectives to ponder during preparation. Also, treating a lesson as more of a guide to facilitate a group discussion allows those in the room to teach each other. The lesson then acts as a way to keep on topic while the group bounces experiences and ideas off of each other. Most importantly, a lesson should be prepared with a prayerful heart. We should teach with the intent that Heavenly Father has a lesson to share and we are his mouthpiece. With a prayer in our hearts and Heavenly Father in mind, His message will be taught so that all will hear and feel understood.
Whether you have been a member all your life or you are a convert, whether you are less active or perfect in your church activity, please speak up in church about your imperfections and your weaknesses, about your frailties, and about your truth. There are people that need to hear from you. There are people that need to find someone to relate to. If we only talk about our successes and our perfection then how can anyone live up to the perfect image in the room? This could make the difference between someone choosing to come to church and someone choosing not to.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated in a fireside that 'the Church is not a monastery for the isolation of perfect people. It is more like a hospital provided for those who wish to get well.' If we always talk about experiences in the gospel with rose-colored glasses on, do we really share the truth of our experience or do we share what we want others to hear?— Unknown
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