Don't squat with your spurs on.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
There is nothing so stupid as an educated man, if you get him off the subject he was educated in.
We are all ignorant; just in different subjects.