“What is your plan ... ?” “What is your plan after dinner/this weekend/to study for your math quiz when you get home from soccer so late?” Asking this question helps your child begin to develop a sense of time. For the most part, your child lives in two worlds: the “now” and the “not now.” They have a very difficult time making the connection that what they have to do later (in the day or the week or the month) can and should affect what needs to be done now.
“What do you need to do in order to ... ?” This question helps your child build visual checklists for responsibilities such as getting ready for soccer, getting ready for school or taking out the trash. Another great one is “What is the first step for starting your science project/studying for your test/writing your college essay?” If a child is picturing the whole picture all at once, they might feel overwhelmed and not know where to start. You might also ask “What are your priorities today?”—a question that requires the brain to do some heavy lifting.
“How are you going to remember to remember?” Are you going to write it down? Take a photo? Text it to yourself? The list is endless.
“What could possibly get in your way?” This question helps your child to foresee potential barriers and plan ways around them. Perhaps they must finish their project this weekend, but their little brother will be having seven friends over for a birthday sleepover. How will they work around this?
Finally, “Tell me, what do you know?” Deploy this anytime they say, “I don’t know” in response to a question. This gives you a starting point. In other words, by asking instead of telling, you’re requiring your children to do some problem solving. Do this consistently, and you all will begin to reap rewards—more skill building for them, less exasperation for you.
“What does ‘done’ look like to you?” I love this question because if you have a child that has a hard time initiating, it helps to look at the end product and build a roadmap to get there.