None of us, nor our children, will ever find fulfillment through the judgment of strangers.
Humans have a bad habit of wanting things that are terrible for us.
...fame has become a form of addiction.
...ask yourself whether you really want to base some part of your happiness on the judgment of others, including and especially strangers.
But to seek fame per se—to attract attention to yourself as opposed to your work—is to subject yourself emotionally to that scrutiny, which will inevitably end in disaster for your self-esteem.
I’ve learned that I cannot control another’s behavior and, also, that I am not responsible for anyone else’s behaviors.
Men may indulge in things they call happiness, but there is often no real happiness in in them, for they bring punishment along in the sting they leave behind. It is not so with proper enjoyments - enjoyments within the scope of reason and right, where there is no infringement upon each other.
Ginny says she's been to more than 20 funerals in the last seven years, funerals for friends who were drug addicts, people who she believes have been loved to death by Seattle and King County, and a culture of tolerance at all expense.
Nobody wants to hurt anybody's feelings," she says, "everybody wants to be loving and supportive, which means we don't hold up a mirror to people. We don't want to tell anybody they can't do this, we're just going to support them to death. We're gonna love them to death.
It's not love. I am grateful the Pierce County Sheriff's loved me enough to arrest me. I am grateful that the judges loved me enough to incarcerate me because those incarcerations gave me an opportunity to work myself into changing my life.
Let’s define addiction as: any habit that reduces agency by trading impulses for blessings. With that definition in mind, what are some of your addictions? What highly impulsive habits do you have? And what price are they exacting in foregone blessings?
For example, few of us would equate our relationship to technology with an addict’s connection to opium. And yet, brain research shows they are precisely the same. When we open Instagram and see 30 likes on the vacation photo we just posted, our brain releases a surge of dopamine—the body’s pleasure chemical. This is precisely the same thing that happens when a drug addict takes a hit of crack. Over time our brains learn that this meaningless behavior creates a sense of well-being—so we repeat it. Over and over and over. And an addiction is born. Your brain begins to think of behaviors like checking email or responding compulsively to a text as a need not a choice. If that last sentence rings embarrassingly true, you’re an addict.
If we define addictions too narrowly, we replace wisdom with smugness. We reason that our “little” habits are nothing like those dirty drug addicts or disgusting porn users. I’ve come to believe that while our various addictions may differ in degree, they exact precisely the same kind of costs.
People imprisoned in addiction become slaves to impulses. They lose self-respect because they become incapable of maintaining boundaries.
With addicts, the best thing you can offer is a healthy example of a well-bounded life. Show him what it looks like when you keep your commitments to yourself—and perhaps you will invite him to a higher level of living.
I think most of us miss the main point of the Word of Wisdom...The warning is about conspiracy not physiology. The Lord is warning that in the last days men will conspire in various ways to seduce us into surrendering our agency. Substances will be the vehicle of conspiracy.
We get the full benefit of the Word of Wisdom when we open our eyes to the myriad ways those who seek power and gain invite us into bondage. Chemical addictions are just a small sampling of the pleasing options for servitude available in our day. We deceive ourselves when we limit our definition to things you inject, smoke, drink or swallow.
We cannot protect our loved ones from a bondage they yearn for.
When we compel our kids into rehab, push away their pushers, or in other ways fight their battles for them we will always fail. But when we consider first how our actions affect the spiritual condition of our loved ones, we are assured of eventual success. And the first consideration for supporting the spiritual health of others is refusing to weaken their sense of responsibility for their own welfare.
The warning is about conspiracy not physiology. The Lord is warning that in the last days men will conspire in various ways to seduce us into surrendering our agency. Substances will be the vehicle of conspiracy.
As you think celestial, you will find yourself avoiding anything that robs you of your agency. Any addiction—be it gaming, gambling, debt, drugs, alcohol, anger, pornography, sex, or even food—offends God. Why? Because your obsession becomes your god.