Being numb is to be invisible Asleep to yourself and any kind of promise Choosing to feel nothing is sometimes the best you can do Being afraid is better than being numb But being afraid slowly drains the life right out of you until all that is left is something small Nobody can see in It’s still better than the nothingness Feeling angry is bigger and better than being afraid But being angry is exhausting and scares the chickens But at least you feel you are alive at least something is happening at least it’s a start Even if it spills out at least people know you’re there And somewhere after numb somewhere between the fear and the dread through the fury and the madness A real life begins Courage to move out of the numbness ignoring the sirens, the alarm bells the signposts warning of danger Courage to be scared Courage to grow big enough to hold the rage Courage to forgive Courage to take your life back from the past Claiming This is now This is mine

Jane O'Shea