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In fact, the evidence is quite clear that humans are designed with a unique capacity for deep attachment in long-term relationships, and each of us has the capacity to come to regard another person as more special than anyone else. The problem with the soulmate model of marriage is that it provides a deeply flawed conception of how to achieve this aspiration. Despite promising an easy path to lasting love, soulmate thinking ultimately makes the quest to “find the One” a more elusive goal, not an easier one. This is because soulmate beliefs are often deeply paradoxical in nature and tend to place relationship success outside of one’s agency.Share
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