MUST-BE-SEEN-AS-BOX: You might be worried about being seen as likable, so you go soft. You end up treating others with indifference. You go soft precisely because you see them as an unimportant object, not because you see them as a person. You make a presentation of yourself; You have a need for others to see you in a way that justifies you. Would I be likely to just let it slide if I really cared about the person?