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People just want sooooo much for "love" to be unconditional... It is just too much of an emotional blanket for most people to be able give up. As they use the term, it really isn't much different from "free grace". I am surprised at some Church Leaders who still haven't tuned into Pres. Nelson, Elder Christofferson, Elder Bednar etc. who are gently trying to retire the term. Here is the pattern (Socratic Method) I usually follow when discussing this topic:
I have learned to ask clarifying questions such as:
"What do you mean by love? Do you mean emotional love or actionable love?"
The next question is:
"Is emotional love worth much if it doesn't involve any action?" ... Then quote Shakespeare: "They do not love who do not show their love."
Then (if they have make it this far) I bust out the term "proportional"... As in:
God's ACTIONABLE love is proportional to the commandments we keep. Otherwise it is just free grace, and free grace is not a doctrine we believe in.