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Existential Proof: Nuclear Power Plant Welcome to your new job offer working for the Value Ethics Power Plant Let's go through your list of employee benefits that will be your compensation for working here. Annual salary: 20% above average salary in the surrounding area due to your specific technical expertise. Annual Bonus: 15% of annual salary as an incentive to keep excellent workers like yourself from leaving to work for competitors. Strong work Ethic by co-workers, high morale, low turnover due to excellent company profit margins and well-defined performance criteria Uncompromising Safety Standards. Rigorous background checks for all Employees. Only Highly Qualified applicants get work here. Great profit margins, great projections for next year. You take the job. In the 1st quarter of the new year, a new governing body “Duty Ethics Inc.” takes over and starts implementing new "ethically ideal" policies. 1st Quarter (Selflessness Policy)…In order to forget about ourselves and put others first, we must sell energy at cost, freeze wages, and remove all employee bonus incentives. Consequently, all expansion plans are no longer feasible. 2nd Quarter (Self-Sacrifice Policy)….In order to show proper sacrificial love to others, we will now sell energy below cost. In order to sustain this effort, we must have a series of layoffs, and wage cuts. … Give away said the little stream. 3rd Quarter (Unconditional Love and Non-Judgmentalism Policy)…Because we must love everyone “no matter what or who” we remove all hiring standards and drop all employee performance measurements for those employees who still remain. We also initiate a "love your enemies” quota of hiring 1 terrorist per 100 employees.

⁠— Armon Eaton