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Everything in a family hinges on and depends upon the love between the mother and father. The family lives or dies by it. We may gain some emotional benefit from spoiling our kids, but what they need — what gives them the greatest benefit — is to see a father who honors his wife and a mother who respects her husband. One way or another, whether we like or not, they will learn far more about love from observing us than they will from the hugs and kisses we heap on them.