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Without really intending to, we’ve created an undiscussable. We find it's better to keep the peace and endure the occasional irritation than have yet another blowup. We lose hope that it will ever get resolved. We live with uncomfortable silence and sometimes pain.
To effectively dialogue, you must make it safe for the other person to
talk with you. Resolving undiscussables requires an extra portion of
safety because, almost by definition, undiscussables are created by a
lack of safety which pushes participants into silence and violence. It
takes a lot of safety to initially engage in an undiscussable and even
more safety to see it through to completion.— Ron McMillan
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