The most dangerous side effect of all we have prescribed in the way of programming and instructions and all is the over regimentation of the Church. This over regimentation is a direct result of too many programmed instructions. If we would compare the handbooks of today with those of a generation ago you would quickly see what I mean.
"Teach them correct principles," the prophet said, "and then let," let--a big word, "them govern themselves." (See messages of the Firsts Presidency, p. 54.) Our members should not, according to the scriptures, need to be commanded in all things. (See D&C 58:26)
There is no agency without choice; there is no choice without freedom; there is no freedom without risk; nor true freedom without responsibility.
I repeat, perhaps for one time only we have the opportunity to adjust that balance so that Church activities sustain parents and families rather than the other way around.
Now, there will be smaller budgets and fewer activities, fewer programs. That will leave a vacuum. Nothing likes a vacuum. We must resist, absolutely resist, the temptation to program that vacuum.
The scriptures speak of tithes and of offering they do not speak of assessments or fund raising. To be an offering it has to be freely given, not assessed or requested.
The Lord said that not at any time has he given either a law or a commandment which is temporal. (See D&C 29:34-35) Of course he has not! Temporal means temporary and, whether his laws govern the physical or the spiritual, his laws are eternal!
Yesterday in our temple meeting we were talking about this and talking a little about the other meetings that the other meetings that the bishop is scheduled to be to. Every time there is a graduation or a change in something, they prescribe the bishop to be at the meeting. President Monson mentioned that when he was a bishop, he followed the practice that if the counselor had something to do with the organization, he said, "Well even though the handbook said the bishop should be there, you will be the bishop for that meeting!" There can be a delegation.
But for the family there is no such thing, not so much as a committee. The family has been everybody's business. Everybody's business, as we know, is nobody's business. I used to worry as we designed programs to fit the weak, unstable family, scheduling for men, women, children, youth, young adults, singles, everything, with too little attention paid to the effect it was having on stable families. I remember when some pressed for a written form so families could report their compliance with the family home evening program. We did not permit it. And to this day we have some who want to program formal interviews between parents and their children
I once wondered if we should create an agency to represent the family. But on more serious reflection, I changed my view. There are some things which cannot be counted and should not be programmed. Matters with deepest doctrinal significance must be left to married couples and to parents to decide for themselves. We have referred them to gospel principles and left them to exercise their moral agency. Serious problems often come voluntarily to their bishop. That is the best way.
We cannot program individual and family prayer, indeed all of the basic human relationships, the emotional and the feelings, the bonds that bind man to woman and parents to children, all of the quiet influences, the sacred things that are centered in family life. The family is apart from and above the other organizations and under the sealing authority, more enduring than them all.