When people reflect on their biggest regrets, they wish they could redo the inactions, not the actions.
A good life has a singular focus (forward) and an unwavering valence (positive). Regret perturbs both. It is backward-looking and unpleasant—a toxin in the bloodstream of happiness.
When people tell you their regrets, they’re simultaneously telling you what they value.
Missing weddings and funerals came up a lot in these regrets, because they’re meaningful markers in people’s lives. They’re a way that we cement connection to other people.
The past is like a rear view mirror, you can glance at it, but you'll crash if you stare at it. A little regret can be motivating; too much can be debilitating. Be wise when you look to your past; keep it healthy. What is in front of you matters more than what is behind you.
It is not the things we do in life that we regret on our death bed. It is the things we do not. I assure you I've done a lot of really stupid things, and none of them bother me. All the mistakes, and all the dopey things, and all the times I was embarrassed — they don't matter. What matters is that I can kind of look back and say: Pretty much any time I got chance to do something cool I tried to grab for it — and that's where my solace comes from.