Rather than spend all day waiting for a child to decide, I would offer them a red cup or a blue cup, or invite them to choose the pink pants or the polka dot skirt.
Ultimately, there are two things to consider when judging whether something is art or pornography: the way the art makes an individual feel and the intention of the artist. The first may be easier for a child to figure out than the second. While art is intended to create awe for the human body as a whole, pornography is created with the hope that the viewer’s attention will focus only on body parts (the parts normally covered by a swimsuit.) Art may have many purposes. Pornography only has one: to create or intensify sexual feelings. But children are not developmentally prepared for such feelings. They might describe porn’s effect on them as a strong desire to see more. Children might experience a disorienting, intense fascination they can’t get out of their mind. It’s important for parents to talk to children about their feelings and listen. An image that isn’t pornography for parents may still be pornography for a child.
As parents are patient and persistent in loving their children and in becoming living examples of disciples of Jesus Christ, they most effectively teach the Father’s plan of happiness. The steadfastness of such parents bears powerful witness of the redeeming and strengthening powers of the Savior’s Atonement and invites wayward children to see with new eyes and to hear with new ears (see Matthew 13:43).
[Some] statements by Joseph Smith and Orson F. Whitney are construed by some members of the Church to mean that wayward children unconditionally receive the blessings of salvation because of and through the faithfulness of parents. However, this interpretation is moderated by the fact that the most complete account of the Prophet’s sermon was not available to Church historians at the time they compiled an amalgamated version of his teachings from the notes of Willard Richards and William Clayton. In the more complete set of notes recorded by Howard and Martha Coray, Joseph Smith is shown to have qualified his statement to make the promised blessings conditional upon the obedience of the children: “When a father and mother of a family have [been sealed], their children who have not transgressed are secured by the seal wherewith the Parents have been sealed. And this is the Oath of God unto our Father Abraham and this doctrine shall stand forever.” This clarification is more consistent doctrinally. Except for the additional information contained in the Coray records, the concept of unconditional salvation for disobedient children would contradict many foundational teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, including the second article of faith that “men will be punished for their own sins” (Articles of Faith 1:2).
Natural consequences are more motivating than imposed consequences.
I have heard a few parents state that they don’t want to impose the gospel on their children but want them to make up their own minds about what they will believe and follow. They think that in this way they are allowing children to exercise their agency. What they forget is that the intelligent use of agency requires knowledge of the truth, of things as they really are (see D&C 93:24). Without that, young people can hardly be expected to understand and evaluate the alternatives that come before them. Parents should consider how the adversary approaches their children. He and his followers are not promoting objectivity but are vigorous, multimedia advocates of sin and selfishness. Seeking to be neutral about the gospel is, in reality, to reject the existence of God and His authority. We must, rather, acknowledge Him and His omniscience if we want our children to see life’s choices clearly and be able to think for themselves. They should not have to learn by sad experience that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).
You know what makes me sick to my stomach? When I hear grown people say that kids have changed. Kids haven’t changed. Kids don’t know anything about anything We’ve changed as adults. We demand less of kids. We expect less of kids. We make their lives easier instead of preparing them for what life is truly about. We’re the ones that have changed. To blame kids is a cop-out.
A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and one who has cared for, taught, and ministered to the needs of a child. If you have done all of these and your child is still wayward or troublesome or worldly, it could well be that you are, nevertheless, a successful parent. Perhaps there are children who have come into the world that would challenge any set of parents under any set of circumstances. Likewise, perhaps there are others who would bless the lives of, and be a joy to, almost any father or mother. My concern today is that there are parents who may be pronouncing harsh judgments upon themselves and may be allowing these feelings to destroy their lives, when in fact they have done their best and should continue in faith.
Perhaps in this life we are not given to fully understand how enduring the sealing cords of righteous parents are to their children. It may very well be that there are more helpful sources at work than we know. I believe there is a strong familial pull as the influence of beloved ancestors continues with us from the other side of the veil.
Who are good parents? They are those who have lovingly, prayerfully, and earnestly tried to teach their children by example and precept “to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.” This is true even though some of their children are disobedient or worldly. Children come into this world with their own distinct spirits and personality traits. Some children “would challenge any set of parents under any set of circumstances. … Perhaps there are others who would bless the lives of, and be a joy to, almost any father or mother.” Successful parents are those who have sacrificed and struggled to do the best they can in their own family circumstances.
First, it’s important to understand that porn is the opposite of true art. True art, whether it’s visual, auditory or written, invites a person to think, to ponder, to wonder or to consider something new, a different perspective perhaps. Art doesn’t necessarily have to be beautiful, but it should say something of worth. Something to enlighten us. Great artists are also great thinkers.
I beg to differ. This is not good art. It’s the opposite of art! Any media that attempts to shock, titillate, create sensation for sensation’s sake, and portray gratuitous horror is not good art. Porn is the opposite of art because it portrays sexual scenes that tap into one’s libido instead of one’s heart and mind.
Pornography may be memorable, even for a lifetime. But it’s meant to shock, titillate and addict, rather to enlighten us about what it means to be a thinking, ethical, empathetic human being.
1. Define pornography as not only what it is but how it makes you feel. Does it cause a physical excitement? Does it make you want to look at other nude pictures? 2. Teach kids that porn focuses on parts of the body, but good, true art focuses on the entire person as a unique human being. Does this picture cause you to focus on the private parts more than the entire body? Is there a reason the person is portrayed without clothes on? (For example, it’s reasonable that a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden would show them without clothes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.) 3. Art exalts the human form and portrays it with awe and respect. Porn degrades the human body–again, using artificially enhanced bodies to arouse sexual feelings that may cause you want to act out on those feelings. 4. Good, true art makes us want to do something positive–for example, right a wrong, reflect on our own mistakes, or appreciate beauty. Pornography, on the other hand, wants to create or intensify sexual feelings and pull us into a self-centered and ultimately destructive lust.
If a child can problem solve, they can self-govern.
Principles of good parenting haven’t changed over the years. Rather, parents just think these principles have changed because some of the “No” answers are about things like cell phones and computer games, instead of about playtime and an extra cookie.
Two-thirds of our parenting efforts should be spent on ourselves. We’re the key to changing the home environment and training hearts to bond and love one another. Parents who have soft hearts like this have a power that’s rare. It’s the power of calmness.
We are only as happy as our least happy child.
It seems that when it matters most, we are often at our worst. As parents, we let our emotions get the best of us and we end up behaving in ways that are completely contrary to our good motives. And when we reflect on “What do I really want?” we often amend the question with the following words: from them. This approach is limiting. Our motive can’t be merely to have the other person change. We are better to reflect on what we really want for them. This is a stronger motive and one that will encourage dialogue and not provoke emotion.
Our job is to prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.
Mom offered her little boy green beans. He threw them on the floor and demanded candy. She described the nutritional benefits of fruits, vegetables, and proteins. She gave him a hot dog. He threw it on the floor and demanded candy. “OK then. Here’s a candy bar!” she fumed. “It’ll probably make you sick.” What did the boy learn? That’s easy. He learned that terrorism pays rich rewards. He learned that Mom will preach and cajole but there is a predictable path to getting what you want: stubborn insistence. He also learned that he is in charge of the family.
I have one further suggestion for all parents, whether they are of modest or staggering wealth. When your children are mature, have them read your will before you sign it. Be sure each child understands both the logic for your decisions and the responsibilities they will encounter upon your death. If any have questions or suggestions, listen carefully and adopt those found sensible. You don’t want your children asking ‘Why?’ in respect to testamentary decisions when you are no longer able to respond.
Children have this amazing way of becoming exactly who we tell them they are. If we tell them they are strong, they become strong. If we tell them they are kind, they become kind. If we tell them they are capable, they become capable. Speak life into your kids, so they will have what it takes to tackle their own life one day.
Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.
Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.
I have realized that one essential key to effective parenting is to reverse this order in expenditure of time and energy. In spite of the situation or circumstances, I must begin focusing my energy on helping things go right rather than on handling them once they have gone wrong.
It is not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It is our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.
Keeping Sheep I have a little flock of sheep and they are mine to tend and keep, and I must guard them every day for little lambs, when left alone, will lose their way. So many voices say to me, “A sheep fold is no place to be. your time in there is dull and slow, and lambs leave very little room for you to grow.” Oh, if I ever start to stray, deceived by thoughts of greener pastures, remind me, Lord, that keeping sheep will lead to happier ever afters. Oh, surely there will come a day when all the lambs have left my side and I am free to roam about and go exploring other meadows, green and wide. Yet, something whispers in my heart that when my sheep have left this pen I’ll long to stroke their little heads, to draw them close to me and have them young again. So, if I ever start to stray, deceived by thoughts of greener pastures, remind me, Lord, that keeping sheep will lead to happier ever afters. (1)
Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, takes off your relish for spiritual things, whatever increases the authority of the body over the mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may seem in itself.
Rather than spend all day waiting for a child to decide, I would offer them a red cup or a blue cup, or invite them to choose the pink pants or the polka dot skirt.
Missing Reference