Funny Quotes - 84 quotes

Humor is the quality of being amusing or funny, expressed through literature, speech, or other forms of communication. It can be a source of entertainment, a way to cope with difficult situations, or a means to form social bonds. Humor is a fascinating and multifaceted concept. Humor can take many forms, from lighthearted jokes to more serious, satirical commentary. There are various theories about what makes something funny. One popular idea is the "benign violation theory", which suggests that humor arises when something seems wrong or threatening but is actually harmless. Another theory focuses on the relief of tension, where humor provides a way to release built-up stress. Humor often involves playing with expectations and finding joy in the unexpected.

quote icon My favorite thing is when you go ever to someone's house and you're fat. They overcompensate. Oh, come on in Louie and sit down on this concrete sofa, or the re-enforced steel lawn furniture. You know what I do, head right for that wicker.

- Louie Anderson

quote icon People say Louie why do you do those fat jokes? Cuz if I didn't you guys would sit out there and go "Do you think he knows he's that big?" Like I woke up one morning "Oh no! Honey, get in here.

- Louie Anderson

quote icon I am from Minnesota. Any Minnesotans here? Could I get a ride home with ya? "Where would we put him?" I love Minnesota. We go back every year. It's a great outdoors state, they do a lot of camping. Of course when I go camping the bears put their food up in the trees.

- Louie Anderson

quote icon I can't stay long. I'm in between meals, so bear with me.

- Louie Anderson

quote icon I went shopping today. What's this one size fits all stuff? Being in California, being fat, trying to get into this California life. Went to the beach the other day. Every time I lay down people would push me back into the water.

- Louie Anderson

quote icon I tell you one thing my family taught me. I'm really glad I have a family that loves me. They taught me to think positive all the time, that's the main thing. Don't you think so in life? Positive thinking. I'm a big believer in that. I think positive even about the worst stuff, let me tell ya. Like if I read about a guy, a disgruntled employee, going back to where he used to work with a machine gun, killing everybody. I read stuff like that and think "Hey! At least they're hiring!"

- Drew Carey

quote icon I'll do one other quick impression. This is my impression of a man in a hurry. (tie over his shoulder) I like to have fun, if you want to have fun, and you wear a tie to work every day, here's what you do. Put a little wire in your tie, and some tape in the back like I have. So all it is a coat hanger in here, some duct tape to make it stick. And say you're driving home through a 35 mile an hour zone. And see a cop driving by 35 miles per hour. Just pull up along side him doing 34. Hey bud, how you doing? (tie over his shoulder) "I know the guy is speeding, I can't figure it out." Here's a man falling out of a building (tie over his forehead)

- Drew Carey

quote icon I got up the other day and everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I couldn't believe it. I called my roommate and I said come here and look at this stuff. It's all an exact replica, what do you think? He said do I know you?