All advice to do things or not to do them is concerned with happiness, and with the things that make for or against it; whatever creates or increases happiness or some part of happiness, we ought to do; whatever destroys or hampers happiness, or gives rise to its opposite, we ought not to do.
The Renaissance represented a rebirth of reason, thanks mostly to the Aristotelian thought of St. Thomas Aquinas. Aristotelianism has always represented the antithesis of Platonism. When Plato saw forms in another dimension, Aristotle looked at the real world. When Plato sought refuge in intuition, Aristotle looked to logic. When Plato urged men to merge themselves with the collective, Aristotle stood for individualism. When Plato advocated a communist state, Aristotle advocated a sane polity, where law, not men, would rule other men. These ideas were the foundation of the Renaissance, and the subsequent periods of Enlightenment, Scientific Revolution, and Industrial Revolution.
Aristotle outlined two kinds of common friendships that are more accidental than intentional. The first is a friendship of utility. In this kind of relationship, the two parties are not in it for the affection of one another, but more so because each party receives a benefit in exchange. It’s not permanent in nature, and whenever the benefit ends, so does the relationship that brought the parties together. Aristotle observed this to be more common in older folks. An example of this would be a business or a work relationship. You may enjoy the time you spend together, but once the situation changes, so does the nature of your connection.
Similarly, the second kind of accidental friendship is one based on pleasure. This one, however, is more common in people that are younger. It’s the kind of relationship frequently seen among college friends or people who participate on the same sports team. The source of such a friendship is more emotional, and it’s often the most short-lived of the relationships. It’s fine for as long as the two parties gain enjoyment through a mutual interest in something external, but it ends as soon as either tastes or preferences change.
Rather than utility or pleasure, this kind of relationship is based on a mutual appreciation of the virtues that the other party holds dear. It’s the people themselves and the qualities that they represent that provides the incentive for the two parties to be in each other’s lives. Rather than being short-lived, such a relationship often lasts until the end, and there is quite generally a base level of goodness required in each person for it to exist in the first place.
It makes sense. At the end of the day, the bonds we forge with those close to us directly shape the quality of our lives. We are, and we live through, the people we spend time with. For most things, life is long enough. It is, however, too short for the wrong kinds of friendship.