Quote
Typically, when someone has done something offensive or disrespectful, behaved poorly, or otherwise violated an expectation we had, we assume it is because of poor motive. They don’t care. They don’t respect me. This is just who they are — disrespectful and uncaring. We make character judgments about people and we do it quickly. If you are going to be successful in this (crucial) conversation, you need to step back from those judgments. Maybe they think this kind of behavior is okay. Maybe this is how they have always built relationships and rapport with new colleagues. Maybe they don’t know any other way to connect with new people....
I am surprised by just how often I give feedback to someone on a long-standing behavioral pattern and the response is, “No one has ever said anything before.” Silence is pervasive. And it means people often continue their behavioral patterns simply because they don’t know anything different.Share
Sign In to comment on this quote
