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Most often, when we think about stepping up to a hard conversation, we think about how hard, scary, or uncomfortable the conversation will be for us and how we can make it better - for us....So, we make things less scary. For us.
However, if we want to be successful in our crucial conversations, we have to spend as much time, if not more, thinking about how to make it less scary for the other person. Being told something you did was wrong or offensive is scary, too. And our natural response to scary tings is to defend ourselves. So, how can you make it easier or less scary for the offender to hear your message. A good place to start is by sharing your (positive) intent....:
You aren't bringing up your concern simply to criticize or complain....
Most importantly, you want to talk about issues as they come up, rather than letting them fester.
In addition to sharing your perspective, you want to know their views and how they believe the relationship can work well.Share
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