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Here, advice-givers can help. When people come to us for advice, we can resist the urge to give them a single recommendation. People rarely need to hear our conclusion. They benefit from hearing our thought process and our perspective on the relevant criteria for making the choice. The most useful advice doesn’t specify what to do; it helps people see blind spots in their thinking and clarify their priorities.
At some point, you have probably noticed that you’re wiser when giving advice to others than you are in making decisions for yourself. You’re not alone. In psychology, it’s called Solomon’s paradox, and it often happens because we have more distance from other people’s problems than our own.
When making our own career choices, we tend to zoom in on all the ways that the options differ. I’ve seen students make Excel spreadsheets comparing jobs on 23 dimensions, which is an easy way to get stuck in the weeds. When we’re giving advice to others, we’re more likely to zoom out to see the big picture. Instead of trying to weigh all the factors, we base our recommendations on the two or three most important factors.Share
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