Aristotle outlined two kinds of common friendships that are more accidental than intentional. The first is a friendship of utility. In this kind of relationship, the two parties are not in it for the affection of one another, but more so because each party receives a benefit in exchange. It’s not permanent in nature, and whenever the benefit ends, so does the relationship that brought the parties together. Aristotle observed this to be more common in older folks. An example of this would be a business or a work relationship. You may enjoy the time you spend together, but once the situation changes, so does the nature of your connection.
Similarly, the second kind of accidental friendship is one based on pleasure. This one, however, is more common in people that are younger. It’s the kind of relationship frequently seen among college friends or people who participate on the same sports team. The source of such a friendship is more emotional, and it’s often the most short-lived of the relationships. It’s fine for as long as the two parties gain enjoyment through a mutual interest in something external, but it ends as soon as either tastes or preferences change.
Rather than utility or pleasure, this kind of relationship is based on a mutual appreciation of the virtues that the other party holds dear. It’s the people themselves and the qualities that they represent that provides the incentive for the two parties to be in each other’s lives. Rather than being short-lived, such a relationship often lasts until the end, and there is quite generally a base level of goodness required in each person for it to exist in the first place.
It makes sense. At the end of the day, the bonds we forge with those close to us directly shape the quality of our lives. We are, and we live through, the people we spend time with. For most things, life is long enough. It is, however, too short for the wrong kinds of friendship.
Aristotle outlined two kinds of common friendships that are more accidental than intentional.
The first is a friendship of utility. In this kind of relationship, the two parties are not in it for the affection of one another, but more so because each party receives a benefit in exchange.
It’s not permanent in nature, and whenever the benefit ends, so does the relationship that brought the parties together. Aristotle observed this to be more common in older folks.
An example of this would be a business or a work relationship. You may enjoy the time you spend together, but once the situation changes, so does the nature of your connection.