This concept is consistent with the dedicatory prayer of the Kirtland Temple where the Prophet Joseph Smith prayed: “And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them” (D&C 109:22, emphasis added). The term “servants” is gender neutral and applies equally to both men and women.
This connection between fatherhood and priesthood helps us interpret what the Family Proclamation means when it states that “by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families” (Ensign, Nov. 1995). Historically, some fathers have neglected these responsibilities or assumed that this commission gave them a right to be the boss and practice “unrighteous dominion” (D&C 121:39; see Oaks Ensign Oct. 2005). In reality, to preside as a priesthood leader means to serve (Matt. 23:11) and fathers are to fulfill their unique calling to preside, provide, and protect by using their priesthood to bless and serve their families
This echoed the words of Elder M. Russell Ballard who has taught that “men and women are equal in God’s eyes and in the eyes of the Church, but equal does not mean the same. The responsibilities and divine gifts of men and women differ in their nature but not in their importance or influence. God does not regard either gender as better or more important than the other”
The different gifts and roles of men and women are intended to complement each other. “The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation” (Elder David A. Bednar, Ensign Feb. 2006). It was never intended that man or woman be alone. As President Boyd K. Packer taught, “At first, Adam was alone. He held the priesthood, but alone, he could not fulfill the purposes of his creation. No other man would do. … Except Adam and Eve by nature be different from one another, they could not multiply and fill the earth. The complementing differences are the very key to the plan of happiness”
For example, Adam and Eve worked together, prayed and worshipped together, sacrificed together, taught their children the gospel together, and mourned over wayward children together (see Moses 5:1, 4, 12, 27). They were united with each other and with God.” (Handbook 2 1.3.1). This is what it means to serve as equal partners
For example, we learn that Eve “conceived and bare” children and that she nurtured them (Moses 5:16). Her efforts to nurture were not limited to their physical development, but the scriptures emphasize her concern over their spiritual growth (see also President Henry B. Eyring, Ensign Nov. 2018). When her son Cain was born, she announced, “I have gotten a man from the Lord” and she expressed hope that she could raise him so that “he may not reject [God’s] words” (Moses 5:16). Tragically, Cain did not listen to his faithful parents, bringing the very sorrow in mothering that God had predicted (Moses 4:22).
But what did it mean for Adam to preside? How did he fulfill his specific role in the family? To preside means to “be in a position of authority in a meeting or gathering” or, in this case, a family. What gave Adam authority in the family was that he held the priesthood, meaning he was conferred the priesthood and ordained to priesthood office by God “in the creation” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 157). Although women are given priesthood authority in their Church callings and endowed to priesthood power in the temple, only men are called by God to hold the priesthood by holding priesthood office (see President Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign May 2014). Apparently, one reason why men like Adam are given the priesthood is so that they can bring that authority into their home and use it to govern their family with their wife.
In this family government, wives do not serve as their husband’s “first counselor” in a lower position of hierarchy. Instead, she serves as his equal partner. President Dallin H. Oaks explained this concept when he taught the following about partnership: “A most important difference in the functioning of priesthood authority in the family and in the Church results from the fact that the government of the family is patriarchal, whereas the government of the Church is hierarchical. The concept of partnership functions differently in the family than in the Church” (Oaks, Ensign Nov. 2005).
Presiding in this case simply means that the father holds the priesthood in their joint leadership and equal partnership. Holding the priesthood does not make him more of a leader, but it does mean that it is through the authority that he holds that they can both lead and govern their family together.
For Adam, presiding with the priesthood meant using his priesthood to bless his family and bring them into the presence of God through saving ordinances.
Eve, as a mother, was primarily focused on the nurture of their children. And when it came time for baptism or confirmation, for blessing the sick or afflicted, for priesthood ordination or temple sealings, Adam alone was qualified to do this. He held the priesthood and was called to exercise it to serve and save his family. That is central to what it means to preside, and why priesthood is “the right belonging to the fathers” (Abr. 1:2).
This formula makes revelation simple. We are not asking the Lord to tell us what to do, we are asking him to give us the “green light” or “red light” to our decision. This allows us to “counsel with the Lord in all [our] doings” (Alma 37:37) but it also allows us to exercise our agency.
As Church historian Steven Harper has explained, “One immeasurable result of Doctrine and Covenants 107 is the way it gives meaning to men’s lives. Section 132 emphasizes the priesthood’s exalting power for women and men, but the particular power of section 107 gives ordinary, even inadequate men both duty and destiny that can motivate them to rise to far greater heights of service to God and family than they would if left to their natural inclinations. The revelation came at a time when American culture was beginning to erode fatherhood. Noting how the exalting priesthood principles of section 107 seemed to have a powerful influence on Joseph’s own father, historian Richard Bushman went so far as to say that ‘in restoring priesthood, Joseph restored fatherhood’”
But this order is otherwise described in modern revelation as an order of family government where a man and woman enter into a [marriage] covenant with God—just as did Adam and Eve—to be sealed for eternity, to have posterity, and to do the will and work of God throughout their mortality.
“One immeasurable result of Doctrine and Covenants 107 is the way it gives meaning to men’s lives. Section 132 emphasizes the priesthood’s exalting power for women and men, but the particular power of section 107 gives ordinary, even inadequate men both duty and destiny that can motivate them to rise to far greater heights of service to God and family than they would if left to their natural inclinations. The revelation came at a time when American culture was beginning to erode fatherhood. Noting how the exalting priesthood principles of section 107 seemed to have a powerful influence on Joseph’s own father, historian Richard Bushman went so far as to say that ‘in restoring priesthood, Joseph restored fatherhood’”
This means that after the original revelation explained the role of presiding high priests, Bishops, Seventy, and Apostles, it culminated by teaching about priesthood fathers. In this inspired sequence the Lord was sending the message that the ultimate purpose for men holding the priesthood is not to serve as Bishops, stake presidents, or even General Authorities. The ultimate purpose is to serve as priesthood fathers and to use their priesthood to bless, serve, and save their families—just as our Heavenly Father does! In a world that often views fathers as unnecessary or obsolete, priesthood gives them a unique role and something irreplaceable to contribute. It gives them a divine and eternal purpose in the family.
This concept is consistent with the dedicatory prayer of the Kirtland Temple where the Prophet Joseph Smith prayed: “And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power, and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory be round about them, and thine angels have charge over them” (D&C 109:22, emphasis added). The term “servants” is gender neutral and applies equally to both men and women.