Since we cannot wash someone clean with our forgiveness, the only thing we can do with our forgiveness is cast off the burden of anger we carry. Much is written about how to cast off the burden of anger. However, what if there was no anger in the first place? There is no burden to cast off if the burden was never picked up. We can avoid the need to forgive if we avoid the tendency to be offended.
When we remember, before an offense even occurs, that we are all human, we all make mistakes, most of them are unintentional, and Christ will make right those that are not, then we can spare ourselves even a moment of carrying a burden it is not ours to carry.
Not being offended might seem much harder than being offended and then letting go of the anger, but I don’t think so. I think the longer we carry a grudge, the harder it is to let it go. It becomes our security blanket, our protection from ever being hurt again, our evidence that we were wronged, and our way of reminding the offender that he has offended us. It’s difficult to let go of that security blanket, once we become attached to it. It might just be easier, not to wrap ourselves in the grudge in the first place.
If we had different words for the two types of forgiveness the scripture that reads “I The Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men,” could read, “I the Lord will absolve whom I will absolve, but of you it is required to relinquish bitter feelings towards all men.” When the Lord forgives, he absolves, when men forgive, they relinquish.
5 Ways to Avoid the Need To Forgive: 1. Remember the offender may not have meant to offend. Accidents are called accidents because they were unintentional. 2. Realize the offender knows not what he does. It may not even occur to him that his actions have grave ramifications. For example, parents who verbally or emotionally abuse their children may not even be capable of imagining the damage they are doing. 3. Understand that the offender, themselves, is hurting. Too often wicked people have been treated wickedly. ... “crazy” is often the inability to successfully deal with one’s own hurt. 4. Ask yourself, “Who am I not to be hurt?” Realize "This is my trial. It was bound to happen, let’s see how I handle it." 5. Trust that Christ will punish fairly. When When we carry a grudge, refusing to speak to someone, or excluding them from our associations, our motive is often to punish them...When the offender truly gets what he deserves, which he will since God is just, we might actually feel terrible for him.
Man’s forgiveness means that we let go of our anger, refuse to hold a grudge, that we don’t try to punish the sinner with our emotions.
When men forgive it does not mean the offender’s sins are washed away. When man forgives, it means the offended no longer carries the burden produced by the sin. Man’s forgiveness means that we let go of our anger, refuse to hold a grudge, that we don’t try to punish the sinner with our emotions.
Since we cannot wash someone clean with our forgiveness, the only thing we can do with our forgiveness is cast off the burden of anger we carry. Much is written about how to cast off the burden of anger. However, what if there was no anger in the first place? There is no burden to cast off if the burden was never picked up. We can avoid the need to forgive if we avoid the tendency to be offended.