Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
You can learn just as much from identifying what doesn't work as you can from spotting what does. What are the mistakes, errors, and flubs that you want to avoid? Inversion is not about finding good advice, but rather about finding anti-advice. It teaches you what to avoid.
It’s never the right time, but right now is usually the best time.
Inversion is counterintuitive. It is not obvious to spend time thinking about the opposite of what you want.
But because the universe naturally slides toward disorder, you have to expend energy to create stability, structure, and simplicity. Successful relationships require care and attention. Successful houses require cleaning and maintenance. Successful teams require communication and collaboration. Without effort, things will decay.
Artists create a form of order and symmetry that, odds are, the universe would never generate on its own. It is so rare in the grand scheme of possibilities. The number of beautiful combinations is far less than the number of total combinations. Similarly, seeing a symmetrical face is rare and beautiful when there are so many ways for a face to be asymmetrical.
Many great headlines and titles use the power of inversion to up-end common assumptions. As a personal example, two of my more popular articles, “Forget About Setting Goals” and “Motivation is Overvalued”, take common notions and turn them on their head.
To be happy, however, you need some degree of success in each major area.
Optimal lives are designed, not discovered.
That said, you can start making changes right now. You don’t have to be a victim of your environment. You can also be the architect of it. Here’s my simple 2-step prescription for altering your environment so that you can stick with good habits and break bad habits: To stick with a good habit, reduce the number of steps required to perform the behavior. To break a bad habit, increase the number of steps required to perform the behavior. Here are some examples… Want to watch less TV? Unplug it and put it in a closet. If you really want to watch a show, then you can take it out and plug it back in. Want to drink more water? Fill up a few water bottles and place them around the house so that a healthy drink is always close by. Want to start a business? Join a co-working space where you’re surrounded by dozens of other business owners. These are just a few examples, but the point is that shifting your behavior is much easier when you shift to the right environment. Stanford professor BJ Fogg refers to this approach as “designing for laziness.” In other words, change your environment so that your default or “lazy” decision is a better one.
So often, we assume that excellence requires a monumental effort and that our lofty goals demand incredible doses of willpower and motivation. But really, all we need is dedication to small, manageable tasks. Mastery follows consistency.
"...the conscious mind is the bottleneck of the brain. It can only pay attention to one problem at a time”. Whereas focused thought takes place in the conscious mind, habitual behaviors are driven by the subconscious. “Habits reduce cognitive load and free up mental capacity, so you can allocate your attention to other tasks."
When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. I like how the economist Tim Harford put it, “Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time.”
Inversion is an essential skill for leading a logical and rational life. It allows you to step outside your normal patterns of thought and see situations from a different angle. Whatever problem you are facing, always consider the opposite side of things.
This way of thinking, in which you consider the opposite of what you want, is known as inversion... Inversion is a powerful thinking tool because it puts a spotlight on errors and roadblocks that are not obvious at first glance. What if the opposite was true? What if I focused on a different side of this situation? Instead of asking how to do something, ask how to not do it.
Inversion can be particularly useful for challenging your own beliefs. It forces you to treat your decisions like a court of law. In court, the jury has to listen to both sides of the argument before making up their mind. Inversion helps you do something similar. What if the evidence disconfirmed what you believe? What if you tried to destroy the views that you cherish? Inversion prevents you from making up your mind after your first conclusion. It is a way to counteract the gravitational pull of confirmation bias.
The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the identity associated with that behavior...Whatever your identity is right now, you only believe it because you have proof of it. If you go to church every Sunday for twenty years, you have evidence that you are religious. If you study biology for one hour every night, you have evidence that you are studious. If you go to the gym even when it’s snowing, you have evidence that you are committed to fitness. The more evidence you have for a belief, the more strongly you will believe it.
"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become...Each time you write a page, you’re a writer. Each time you practice the violin, you’re a musician. " The idea is to cast as many votes as possible for the person you’d like to become. In time, as you accumulate votes, you will prove to yourself that you are the type of person that you chose to be.
It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behavior.
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.