Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.
I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.
Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures. Have you been to the Hard Rock Casino in Vegas? There's nothing save-the-planetish about it. Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money--and they don't, for the amount of money they make. There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are. Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.
I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.
At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know?
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Every election I have to hold my nose to vote.
Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
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